Recently one of my friends, a managing academician in a university told me “Most of the students graduating from many departments in first, second, third, etc. place are girls. But when we look at academic field and those leading a carrier in business field, girls are disappearing, why they give up I don’t understand.” Where are those girl students who are really hardworking and successful at school? After school, do they choose other lives instead of carrier? Or do they face in business life those obstacles stemming from being a woman?
SOCIAL GENDER CARRIER
One of the most heard terms recently should be social gender equality. What is meant by social gender is not only bodily differences. Social gender is described as “psychological, sociological and cultural aspects of womanhood and manhood”. All these descriptions attribute to women being a good wife and mother as a carrier since the birth or even before the birth. Success of the women is appreciated when these are accomplished. Carrier does not take place in these roles. According to social gender, successful girl in school is hard-working and successful boy in school is clever. When talking about women making a carrier, failure in “family and private life” is mentioned and put before the carrier success sometimes explicitly but most of the times implicitly. Because success in business is seen as a consolation for a woman who has not succeeded in “social gender carrier”, the actual field needs to be accomplished in. They have gone against prejudices of social gender and entered into area of “man”. With this opinion, it is hard to say these women are successful or brave who intend to take place of man and behave differently. Besides, not only man but also women who are tightly bound to the social gender concept taught to them hold this point of view. When a woman wants to make a carrier, she is excluded from being a woman as long as she adopts that role assigned for her. Famous discourse of “glass ceiling” besides for society is also a barrier a woman grown up with these doctrines puts in front of her. When looking at these doctrines, we approach a little to the answer of the question what happens to girl students after school: Girls are chasing up marriage carrier that is set forth for them. Concepts of marriage and having a good family are perceived as positive attributes for men but put in front of women as an obstacle for carrier.
MARRIAGE CARRIER
Marriage is an institution starting between two persons. Most expected things from marriage are happiness and sharing. Studies identify positive contribution of marriage to carrier of men and negative affects of marriage on women’s carrier. To convert this affect to the contrary depends on woman’s being smart, self-confident and to the man she is married to as well. Although the fact that man sharing the institution is so brave to get out of the man role that social gender sets forth for him and sees marriage not only as a responsibility of his spouse does not make the woman more successful but can provide that successful woman lead a happy marriage together with her carrier. Here what needs to highlighted is that marriage is not a carrier. Marriage which is identified as “hearth and home” for men, is offered to women as a carrier. Home is identified as place where a working and a carrier-making man turns back to have a rest and find peace, however for women as a place to live in and work in. Besides, preparing that peaceful resting environment that man needs to find at home is determined to be task of the woman. Girls who are taught to success in roles of a good wife, mother and housewife are basically getting prepared for such carrier. Men who fails in workplace and cannot continue his carrier, continues to be a “man”. However, womanhood of a woman who is regarded as unsuccessful in marriage carrier and who cannot continue it becomes a matter of debate. Question of Marriage or Carrier is not asked to any man but is made to be a dilemma for women. This dilemma is not only created by men. The actual dilemma lies in the role that woman embraces and adopts. The problem is that women make themselves believe that they have to make a choice between carrier and marriage. Have you ever seen a man talking and singing like “I can both make a baby and a carrier”? A man leaving or thinking to leave his job because he has a child? “Making a baby” is not only carrying it in the stomach. However, while child care responsibility is perceived to be only mother’s and motherhood is seen as a carrier, fatherhood is determined to be natural right. Woman who sees motherhood as a carrier and who highly embraces this role invests her future and hopes onto her children and dignifies this social misperception by defining it as self-sacrifice.
GIRLS BECAME MOTHER IN THEIR HOMES
Prof.Dr.Bengi Semerci
