The idea of “play” is usually conceived as the opposite of the concept of “work” and therefore it makes frivolous, insignificant and casual associations in one’s mind.  People find it “childish” and pay no attention.  This is because plays are for children and they eventually grow out of this unnecessary habit once they become adults… When you see it this way you may find it a bit far fetched to hear that play -something that has no value from the adult’s perspective- has actually a great deal of significance for humanity just as that of language, culture and technology.  NotRead More…

Self confidence is about being comfortable in one’s own skin and finding one’s self valuable and competent enough.  A healthy self perception ensures the establishment of secure relationships and savoring each and every aspect of life.  Clinging to life and being enthusiastic about it, creating and maintaining identities and goals and sustaining trust in relationships are all possible with a solid self perception.   People’s problem solving skills improve and they learn to cope with problems in a more efficient way.  Lack of self confidence, however, keeps a person from enjoying life by bringing on the thoughts and feelings of insecurity,Read More…

Cheating in families with children does not merely consist of hiding a lover from the spouse or telling lies.   When spouses cheat on each other they actually cheat on the entire family.    From a child’s perspective, being a family means the separation and protection of the kernel that is made up of parents and siblings from the rest of the people out there by dint of the same surname.    A child only feels safe and comfortable in a family when he/she knows that his/her parents accompany each other as a team and keep him/her safe along with his/her siblings. Read More…

In relationships the word “why?” refers to the question of disappointment.   Why him/her not me?  Why did he/she deceive me?  Why did he/she not tell me?  Why now?  Disappointment, on the other hand, is the essential condition for going forward.  Experiencing disappointment in a tolerable level gives one the courage to open new doors.  It makes you inquire about things, teaches you things and guides you to start over.   When it is experienced in intolerable levels, however, then disappointment turns into one of rage.  The desire to hurt another, make them suffer the same grief or regret and theRead More…

This September, I would like to invite parents to try something new:  Do your visits to psychologist for exam stress this month which you have postponed to May J   In fact, the new year begins in September not in January for students and their families.  Therefore, it is necessary to make the assessments of last year in September and to put new plans into effect this month. Especially this year, students who will take exams for Anatolian high schools and universities are supposed to work harder and regularly.   It is a solution for students to obtain support fromRead More…

May is the month when the parents of school age children make their choice.  School introduce themselves, and parents try to make a decision, bearing in mind the place in which they wish to see their children in 20 years time.   The moment when parents’ dreams about the future of their children since their very conception emerge is the moment when they decide on their schools.     This is perhaps the most difficult choice in the world when it is considered with such an exalted perception.  Whereas the children’s future success depends on a combination of various variables and their schoolRead More…

There is a very true saying in Turkish that goes “you get to know your friend while on vacation”.  For this reason, spending your precious little holiday opportunities with a person with whom you are not very familiar poses a huge risk.    Going on a vacation with a friend is in a way like a contract marriage.  You may get a divorce, maintain the relationship to a limited extent or sustain your friendship permanently on return.  Just like marriages, there are some rules for better maintaining a vacation taken with a friend:    Talk about what you expect fromRead More…

I remember the day when I did not start school yet, my sister, five years older than me, came home with her school report in her hands. When my family saw the certificate of appreciation in her hands, they started to hug, kiss and congratulate her.  Everyone’s attention directed towards my sister. I was looking at out of the corner of my eye what attracted so much attention.  A piece of paper with a black frame around it.  I poured out all my jealousy and said “Aaaa, what is all this report about… I would bring a pink school reportRead More…

Aralık ayını ha kıyamet koptu ha kopacak derken, bir Aziz Nesin hikayesi tadında yaşadık. 21 Aralık’a neden inandık sorusunun “Biz Türkler…” diye başlayan birçok yanıtı olabilir. Ancak işin en ilginci çeşitli senaryolarla kıyametin kopacağına tüm dünyanın inanmış olması. Ölüm tehdidi, öylesine evrensel korkuları tetikliyor ki, bir anda yaş, eğitim, bunca yıllık tecrübenin yönlendirdiği mantıksal düşünce duyguların karşında bloke olabiliyor.   Kıyamet söylentileri ortaya atıldığında da, yoğunluklu olarak 3 farklı tepki ile karşılaştık. Bir grup gerçekten kıyametin kopma ihtimalini dile getirerek ya da getirmeye utanarak, yoğun bir endişe yaşadı. Bunların arasında, Şirince’ye gidenler de var, gidemeyip evinde uykuları kaçanlar, Aralık ayınıRead More…

In psychology, the concept of “age” is considered very differently from the chronologic age. How many years you have been alive is not the basic concern of psychological age. Your Psychological age is measured by your involvement in situations you faced in your life, your way of handling these situations and challenging the difficulties.   In life, every period of age has its unique characteristics, joys, and difficulties that have to be overcome. For example, for a newborn, although extremely reflexive, grabbing mother’s breast and starting to suck milk is crucial. A baby has continuing unique tasks for every ageRead More…