In our daily lives, we frequently mention about jealousy while talking but we avoid embracing this emotion when it’s our turn. Even though we feel jealousy in our midst and do not have self-control on it, we try to hide it as we think that it is something unacceptable for others. However, sometimes people can have a reverse situation about this. Some people are proud of ‘’being jealous of beloved’’. As they blow out of proportion so much and make an extreme effort to demonstrate that jealousy is an indicator of love, we can easily see that they are aware of the fact that others do not confirm this situation. Is jealousy really an emotion that is so bad and harmful? Does not jealousy work out? In order to understand this, we have to try to recognize the feeling of jealousy.

Facing with the feeling of jealousy

Most often jealousy is perceived as a feeling that is shameful. Thus, it is hard to accept and face with this emotion. Feeling of jealousy accompanies other emotions at the same time such as anxiety, sadness, fear and anger. These all feelings are not only negative but also more easy to show up than jealousy. However, jealousy is also an emotion that can be expressed properly as other feelings. When does jealousy show up? When we compare ourselves to others, if we think that someone is better than us in anyway, we feel jealous. In romantic relationships, jealousy arises when we get the feeling that our partner may prefer someone else and the doubt of losing him/her. When we perceive someone as a threat, we start to think that this person is more intelligent, more charmful, and more successful. And it is sufficient to to feel jealous. Thus, feeling of jealousy is a manifestation of a strategy to protect ourselves. So, nobody can make you jealous actually, this jealousy belongs to you. In romantic relationships, it’s important to keep in mind that the distrust is not directed to the partner but the person himself/herself. When you release your feeling of jealousy in your behavior, and say ‘’Lovers be jealous’’, it does not legitimize you to torture your partner.

Do being jealous of your colleagues bring success to you?

In order to find the answer, we should review what we make of jealousy. The distinction between envy and jealousy is important. Jealousy can be useful and constructive if we make an effort to gain qualities what others have but we do not. However, if it turns out to shatter others, it would be dangerous. At that time, we need to mention about envy. The person who tends toward humiliating, overshadowing, trivializing the other becomes dangerous both for himself/herself and for his/her enviroment.

Competition is one of the reasons that increase the jealousy at workplace. Being a person who is wanted, favorite liked and needed; it triggers jealousy. If this emotion causes people to work harder, it would be constructive. On the contrary, when one becomes destructive toward people who he/she feels jealous of, that is claiming that others are favored and he/she is not appreciated enough, this kind of a jealousy reduces the efficiency. It gives damage to the workplace environment. This kind of a situation leads gossiping with the aim of trivializing the person on the target, and in turn, gossiping leads confrontations in the workplace.

It is crucial to manage jealousy at work the place. In challenge area, people generally are jealous of a person who they can not compete with. When a manager behaves discriminative toward someone out of the workplace, it rushes up the jealousy at work. Fair election and management decreases this emotion.

Whatever we embrace it or not, everybody feels jealousy at times. The most important thing is to realize that the feeling originates from us and we have the opportunity to utilize it to support our shortness. By this way, jealousy does work out.

Prof. Dr. Bengi Semerci