When the subject is human being, we all have ideas. And if we are starting off with the maxim of “We do not see others as they are, we see them as we are,” the field of being human is where we are all experts. Although it is not possible to prove this through hundreds of research in the field of mental health, there are such facts that all of us – I’m not saying “know” – “are sure of”, we cannot convince others of the opposite, no matter what we say. Here are some of those:


Instead of keeping your anger inside, hit out, smash things!


The most basic reality in psychology that we should never forget, is to avoid extremes. However much the avoidance of experiencing anger, and in fact all other emotions, takes us away from being human, going to the other extreme and living entirely self-focused, will cause just as much harm. There are many ways of expressing anger properly; but neither shutting up and sulking, nor smashing and hitting out at everything in one’s way are among those.


Believing is enough for success!


You can find hundreds of self-development books that emphasize this sentence. What is more, most of them have found a niche on the bestseller list for a while. The idea that belief is enough for success makes one feel good for a while. It promises hope. However, that does not last long, because the entity called human is an integral whole with its emotions, thoughts, body and feelings. Positioning one’s self only in belief is one of the basic cognitive mistakes within polar thought.


You can even defeat cancer with the power of thought.


This is a misconception which is wrong for exactly the same reasons as the previous one. Furthermore, it puts so much pressure on a person that you might even trigger the possibility of other disorders under the stress.


As he/she is listening to me with arms crossed, he/she has shut him-/herself away, and as he/she is wearing brown, he/she cannot be trusted.


The number of those doing character analyses based on outer appearance, body language, color choice, is greater than you think. Choices are meaningful only if you know the processes of the chooser. While it is not possible to get to know somebody even from the words they clearly utter, reaching conclusions about them through colors and body language is only fooling ourselves.


The fact that he/she is so jealous of me is an indication of his/her love for me.


Believe me, the fact that he/she is so jealous of you has nothing to do with you. Jealousy, like all the other emotions, is a natural emotion that should not be denied. However, if a person is living with this emotion to the extent of limiting the other individual or harming him-/herself or the other person,  he/she definitely needs psychological support. This can only be considered “natural” after extensive evaluation of the person’s earlier life, emotional condition, mental health and its impact on that person’s life.


 


These are conceptions are without doubt, accepted by many. However, they cause people to interpret situations with prejudice, and therefore erroneously. Until next month, to meet with myths surrounding psychologists and therapy.


 


Specialist Psychologist Derya Gülterler

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